May 25

How to Heal from Domestic Violence, I am a Survivor.

I was caged in a relationship, abused emotionally, verbally and physically on a regular basis. Some would have stayed, some would have left never learning from it and repeating the cycle passing it onto their children and their children’s children.  I survived and strive from it everyday. Some scars still linger. Flash backs of the time I was choked while pregnant for stepping out of line still disturb my piece from time to time.

The trauma from the events I faced were healed through the courage to stand tall and walk away. I embraced myself and said, “I will always love you.” I had been depending on someone else’s love to fill the void I had felt. I stayed because I did not love myself. I stayed because I felt that no one could love me. Today I am my number one fan. Today I say with confidence, I love me.  To this day I still do.

I grew up in a home ravaged by physical and verbal violence. My well meaning parents were toxic for each other. They believed divorce was not an option resulting in a loveless relationship and a difficult home.  My siblings and I witnessed abuse and often felt abandoned and unprotected by the ones we looked to as our providers. We grew up feeling unloved resulting in low self esteem and poor self image. When you do not grow up with love how can you know how it looks and how to feel it?

While grappling with my own toxic relationship I experienced jabs at my self worth, personality and looks, each slowly eroded my already fragile perception of myself. Words like loser, your fat and ugly rang from childhood into my adult relationship only confirming that I was not worthy of the love I desperately craved and longed for. Being cheated on solidified my worst nightmares. It created a version of myself that accepted those abuses as an attempt to be loved no matter how wrong the love was. I saw myself and cringed, I believed I deserved the mistreatment, somehow I was a person of little value. I felt I was somehow unlovable and worthless.

The day that changed was the first time I fought back. I said to myself “I do not deserve this.” I realized I could do better. I deserve better. I wanted to be a better example for my children. I couldn’t bare the thought of them going through the hurt and pain I did. I left behind the excuses to stay like not wanting to be a single mom, the struggle of being a sole provider. I took control and gave myself permission to change.

We are all capable of change. We are all strong enough to evolve and grow into our own power. Leaving is the first step to healing. Loving yourself is the only way to prevent the abuse from continuing. Love who you are. Look at the gifts you have to offer the world and recognize that you have the ability to change. Empower yourself. Love yourself!

You are not alone unless you forget that you are your own best friend! Be blessed my friend and set your soul free! 🙏

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January 25, 2025

January 25, 2025

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