Letters from the universe. As this journey takes me from the greatest highs and some of the most difficult lows. I have recently come to reflect on how many times I have blown my life up, just to rebuild it anew. After each reconstruction from the rubble, I’ve pieced together the parts of who I wanted to be, to build the version of who I am today. If you are anything like me, you too have lived several lives in a seemingly short span of time. You too, have lived the life of a child, playful, bold, and free. Maybe that small innocent part of you had to grow up all too soon, or maybe has yet to grow.
Some may have never left that stage, clinging to dependency in a never-ending cycle of childhood. Others never got the chance to enjoy the carelessness and joy of being young and without responsibilities.
Perhaps you have lived the life of a confused and moody teenager. Searching for a sense of self, still stuck in an endless search for the meaning of life. Maybe you lacked guidance, felt lost, and unsure of what to do and how to find the right answers for you. You might be in a constant identity crisis. Struggling with understanding who you are and feeling terrified of the person looking back in the mirror. Still stuck in a cycle of self-discovery and rediscovery, unsure if the person you want to be is “acceptable.”
You might be reading this today and believe that you are totally alone. You feel like there is no one in the world that will ever understand your pain and anguish.
Each stage of life presents to us new challenges and more levels to rise and overcome. Life is always giving us new ways to show off our unique and beautiful expression of life and love.
As I’ve evolved and grown through my many lifetimes. I’ve learned to embrace more and more of who I am authentically. Each day I take small steps toward the version of myself that feels most authentic and free. I connect to my pure innocent child. Relearning how to express what I feel. Leaning into the vulnerability of voicing my needs and wants and expressing my innermost passions and desires. I feel the excitement well up inside me when something ignites my soul and fuels my visions and dreams.
Before embracing who I am, I had to forget who I had been programmed to be. The little girl inside that was told she was too much, had to be nurtured back into loving wholeness. The teen who felt unloved and misunderstood had to be held and guided. The single mom had to be validated for her frustrations and given breaks to restore and revitalize. The abused child had to be led out of the darkness with compassion, patience, and understanding to feel safe and secure in the light.
Each stage has been a constant revolution of change. Parts of me have been torn down, only to be built back up again into a newer and greater version of myself. As I learn and grow in love for myself I find more of what I adore, I build those parts up until they feel confident and strong. I’ve searched and continue to search for those parts of me that I rejected long ago. I learn to embrace the pain as I find deeper meaning in experiences and allow them to show me how they have helped shape and mold me.
More than anything I have learned that every time I heal, I find a new layer of darkness ready to come to the light. Each time I peel back a part of me that wishes to control the world around me I uncover an injury that forced me to feel that way. I am faced with the reality of why I felt I wasn’t perfect and why I was unacceptable the way I was.
Some shifts and changes are like earthquakes rocking the very foundation my home was built on. I am learning and unlearning habitual behavior and these uncovered truths can sometimes shake me to the core making me question why I was looking in the first place. As I question, I am faced with the lesson that I would come to learn sooner or later. Those cracks in the foundation, the flaws, just the world’s programming only creating more pain than they were worth.
Today, standing tall, I beam light into the darkness and watch as my shadows retreat or lovingly reach out for the light. Those deep wounds that retreat, I see as parts that have forgotten that they too, are of the light, yearning to be loved once again.
Some hurts are scary. They haunt me like little monsters lurking in the haunted house of my past. Those deep gashes burn like alcohol in my soul wanting to find relief but retracting from the healing light.
As I grow deeper and wiser I stand stronger in holding my hand out to them. Remembering that it took years to hide the pain away and it may take years to coax it out. I stand tall in what I have healed and honor the experiences I have lived through.
We ALL deserve that love and compassion. Through all of our past pains; our perceived “failures” which I now call success in progress. We are divine love and pure light. We are all one. Creators of our own reality and the very creation of reality. Will we continue to choose to be the greatest destroyers? Will we break down walls, buildings, and even ourselves, or will we lift each other up in love, kindness, and compassion telling the pain inside, “Come out, you don’t have to hide anymore, I accept and love you into wholeness and light.”
Whatever stage you find yourself in today, I pray that you stand tall and say, I stand with my darkness and will love all of me into the light.
I am free from the pain and suffering that I was taught to feel as truth.
I am lovingly aware of how I feel and who I am.
As you build inside yourself light and love, remember the little parts of you that felt the pain and needed love but did not receive it.
Extend a hand to the moody teen who lashed out at others because they felt such deep pain within themselves. Cry with the unsure child who felt so strongly about climbing the tree, but was yelled at and told it was too dangerous to do.
Beam rays of light onto the part of you that wanted to see the world but was told it wasn’t realistic or allowed. Take a moment to stop “working” on being a better version of yourself and just love yourself in the stage you are currently in.
You are perfect. You are perfection. You are whole. You are filled with love, light, and shadows waiting to be loved back into the light.
No matter what stage of life you are in, you have made it! You have beat all the odds! You have come here to learn and to grow. You are amazing as you are! Most importantly, I Love You for being YOU! Now, today, in this moment, I urge you to choose to love you too.
With Love,
The Endless and Expansive Universe
I hope you enjoyed this blog “Letters From The Universe” and if you did click this link for more!
Click here to reach my YouTube channel
